Author Archives: Kathryn Bashaar

Be the Change #12 – 12 Random Acts of Kindness

Promise me that you’ll do at least one of the following this week:

  1. Compliment the first 3 people you talk to.
  2. If you are shoveling snow or cleaning up debris in your yard, do your neighbor’s yard, too.
  3. Take your unwanted or unused coupons to the supermarket with you and leave them beside the product so someone else can use them.
  4. Pay for the coffee of the person behind you in line, or the takeout order for the car behind you.
  5. Start a conversation with the person beside you in the elevator.
  6. Let someone go ahead of you in the supermarket line if they have only a few items and you have a full cart.
  7. If you receive good service at a store or restaurant, tell the person’s manager.
  8. If you work at an office and a colleague provides great service or assistance to you, send them a thank-you e-mail with a copy to their boss. I am a boss and I love hearing about it when one of my staff provides great assistance; I do keep track and take it into account in performance evaluations.
  9. Instead of selling something on Craig’s Lists offer it for free.
  10. Tip 20%.
  11. Take a batch of muffins or cookies to your local library, or police or fire station.
  12. While you’re at Petco, buy an extra bag of cat or dog food and donate it to your local animal shelter.

Post some of your own ideas in response, and I’ll use them in a future post.  Or let me know how these ones work out for you.  I got most of these ideas from Parade Magazine’s Random Acts of Kindness website.  Check it out for more ways to spread kindness.

Augustine on Friendship

Our pastor’s sermon last Sunday was on the topic of Christian friendship, and that made me think of Saint Augustine’s experience of friendship.

In my first teacher conference about my son Chuck, his first-grade teacher said “Charles is a good boy who picks bad friends.”  Chuck outgrew that by second grade.  Aurelius Augustine took quite a bit longer to outgrow the same tendency.

The opening scene of The Saint’s Mistress is based on a real incident from Augustine’s life, described in Book II of his Confessions.   The near-rape of Leona and Numa is fictional, but the theft of the pears was real.  Augustine describes himself the way I portrayed him in my novel:  ambivalent about the act, mostly interested in impressing his friends.

He continued to keep bad company during his college years in Carthage.  He joined a group called the eversores (loosely translated, The Wreckers or The Overturners). He hung around with the eversores, but didn’t join them in taunting and insulting newcomers to Carthage.  In Book III of Confessions, he says that he felt ashamed that he wasn’t brave enough to join his friends in their insults.  Clearly, the future saint was conflicted between his own morality and a perverse desire to fit in with the unscrupulous friends he continued to choose.

Later, as a young adult, Aurelius Augustine started to choose better friends, but in at least one case it was he who led a friend astray.  My character Amicus is loosely based on the real Amicus, described by Augustine in Book IV of Confessions. In my book, I have Amicus, Aurelius and their friends all attracted to Manicheism at once.  The reality was that Augustine convinced Amicus and become a Manichean and then, as Amicus lay dying, his family had him baptized as a Christian at the last minute.  His leading Amicus away from the true faith was a source of sorrow to Augustine later in life.

Our hero made some better friends later in life, including Simplicianus and Bishop Ambrose, who were instrumental in bringing Augustine to the Christ.  After his conversion to Christianity, Augustine formed an informal ascetic, contemplative community with his mother Monica, Adeodonatus and some like-minded friends.  They spent the winter of 386-7 at a country villa in Cassiciacum.  The group of friends spent their days reading and discussing the Bible, Virgil and neo-Platonist philosophy.  The following spring, the future church father was baptized by Saint Ambrose in the cathedral at Milan.  The baptismal font can still be seen in the basement of the Milan duomo.

Weknow from his letters that Augustine maintained warm friendships during his time as Bishop of Hippo.  He spoke movingly of friendship in his writings and sermons.  In a letter to his friend the widow Proba, he has this to say: “Good human beings seem even in this life to provide no small consolation. For, if poverty pinches, if grief saddens, if bodily pain disturbs, if exile discourages, if any other disaster torments, provided there are present human beings who not only know how to rejoice with those in joy, but also to weep with those who weep (Rom 12:15) and can speak and converse in a helpful way, those rough spots are smoothed, the heavy burdens are lightened, and adversity is overcome.”

The adolescent whose main thought was to impress his rowdy gang, had become a mature man with a deep sense of the compassion that is the heart of true friendship.

For more of Augustine’s thoughts on friendship, see this LINK

 

 

Be the Change #11 – Make Your Voice Heard

I’ve been trying to keep these posts pretty politically neutral up until now. No matter who you voted for, we are all Americans, with our own idea of the country’s best interests at heart.  We need each other far more than we need any particular president or form of government.

But the first week of the Trump administration has been so distressing that I now feel that I must speak my heart.  If you voted for Trump, know that I do not see you as my enemy and you are welcome to continue reading these posts.  Most of my proposed actions could apply to anybody.  But, I do see President Trump as the enemy of every value that I hold most dear, and this post in particular will be targeted at resisting the actions of his administration.

To say that it’s been a bad week would be an understatement.  The President and his senior advisers have attacked freedom of the press.  An appalling inaugural address ended, in 16 minutes, the Pax Americana that has kept the world safe for over 7 decades.  The President doubled down on his insistence that “torture works.”  The infamous wall is now to be built and the President has feuded so angrily with the President of Mexico over who’spaying for it, that a planned visit has been cancelled.  For 100 years, the USA has prospered partly because have friendly countries on our northern and southern borders.  After only one week in office, Trump has reduced that by 50%.

And then came the ban on immigration – and even the return of Green Card holders – from certain Muslim-majority countries (interestingly, ONLY Muslim countries where our President doesn’t have business interests).  We see the distress of separated families, and refugees who have already undergone extreme vetting are now sent back to danger and possible death.

But, we don’t despair.  We act.  We resist.  Millions of women and men in cities all over the world participated in resistance marches on January 21.  Hundreds protested at JFK and Dulles airports against the immigration ban and deportation.  Here in Pittsburgh, we had a volunteer fair called Help or High Water a couple of weeks ago.  On-line and in-person resistance communities are forming.

Your action for this week is to check out the 10 Actions in 100 Days website. The first action is to send postcards to your Senators, giving your views on the issues that are most important to you.  If you have the equipment, you can print postcards right from your own printer.  Or you can download the file and order postcards from Staples, with same-day pickup in most cases.  Or print the Hear Our Voice logo and paste it on a plain post card.  Or just send any old postcard.  But do it.  Take action.  Then check the website in 10 days for your next action.

Here are some other sources of actions that you can take to resist the misguided agenda of this administration.  Don’t despair.  ACT.  RESIST.  History has its eyes on us.

The Indivisible Guide

We Are the 65

Order the Countable app to make it easier to contact your Senators and Representative from your phone

Find a local group you can work with.  I found mine by walking down my street and knocking on the door of a house with a big RESIST TRUMP sign in their window.  Ask friends if they know of a group.  Look for Facebook groups.  Get support.  We need each other.

Be the Change #10 – Defend Minorities

If you’re concerned about minority rights, click on this link to a site that lists national Civil Rights organizations that could use your donations of time or money.

If you are located in the Pittsburgh area, this link will take you to the Just Harvest site, where they list their local Civil Rights allies.  My friend Theresa Orlando serves on the board of Just Harvest. This wonderful organization connects needy people to food resources and advocates for sound anti-hunger policies.

If you are interested in Diversity education, here is a list of resources courtesy of my friend and former manager at PNC, Vincent Johnson, who has done work in this field:

Experts & Consultants on the Topics of Diversity & Inclusion

  • Basic Diversity training and consulting firm
  • Kimberly Papillion on neuroscience and bias
  • S.L. Robins & Associates Diversity and Inclusion—Dr. Robbins does not think of himself as a diversity expert but as a student of human behavior and his years of study of human behavior have led him to the conclusion that “diversity work” is really the work of “understanding human behavior in a diversity context.”
  • Diversity Best Practices—Offers resources, news, and models, as well as consulting
  • DiversityInc‘s mission is to bring education and clarity to the business benefits of diversity
  • Diversity Central with its people-centered design and a structural overhaul, exists as a business center for diversity management, building inclusive organizational cultures, creating high-performing diverse teams, and developing individual competencies for a diverse world—we call it “cultural intelligence.” Offers various resources and consulting
  • International Multicultural Institute—Founded in 1983, one of the first organizations to have recognized the nation’s need for new services, knowledge, and skills in the growing field of multiculturalism and diversity
  • Diversity Advisory Consulting Services offers consulting, training, and diversity software
  • Workforce Diversity Network is one of the nation’s leading networks of professionals and organizations. We are dedicated to being a catalyst to enhance professional development, understanding, promotion and management of diversity and inclusion as an essential part of business success. We provide our members with easy access to solutions-based organizational development, consulting, training, and networking with other high quality organizations
  • Visions Inc.—Consulting and training in diversity and inclusion. Founded in 1984, a non-profit training and consulting organization, specializing in diversity and inclusion
  • Project Implicit is a non-profit organization and international collaborative network of researchers investigating implicit social cognition—thoughts and feelings outside of conscious awareness and control

Meet Saint Ambrose

st-ambrose-1Do you enjoy singing hymns in church?  Then thank Saint Ambrose; he is generally credited with introducing hymnody into the Western church from the East.  And that was only one of his many accomplishments.

Ambrose was born around 340 and raised in Trier in present-day Germany.  His father was a praetorian prefect (an administrator of justice), and his mother was known for her intellect and her piety. Like his later protege, Augustine, Ambrose showed intellectual promise early in life.  He was educated in Rome and was elected Bishop of Milan at age 34.  He had to be hastily baptized before he could take the job.  Late-life baptism was common in early Christianity and Ambrose hadn’t gotten around to being baptized yet when he was elected bishop!

I selected the above image of Ambrose from among many choices, because it seemed the closest to descriptions of what he looked like.  He is said to have been small and frail, with very large eyes and a melancholy face.

Ambrose may have been physically small and weak, but his character was mighty.  In 386, the emperor’s mother demanded that Ambrose cede control of two Milan churches to followers of the Arian heresy (short version:  Arians denied that the Son was co-eternal with the father; people got very excited about these things in the 4th century). Ambrose refused, barricaded himself in one of the churches, and got most of the Christians of Milan on his side – including the emperor’s own troops, who surrounded the church protectively.  Ambrose prevailed over the imperial family, and the churches remained in the hands of the Catholics.

Ambrose was also known as a powerful and persuasive speaker, with a voice out of proportion to his small stature.  His sermons were sensational entertainment.  During her time in Milan, Saint Augustine’s mother, Saint Monica, befriended Ambrose, and Ambrose is generally given a lot of credit for finally converting Augustine to the Christian faith.  Augustine admired Ambrose’s wisdom and learning.  He was awed by Ambrose’s ability to read silently.  This was unusual in the 4th century.  Most people who could read, read aloud, even when they were alone.  It was Ambrose who persuaded Augustine to accept the Christian Bible, by explaining that it should not always be taken literally but should instead be read for deeper truth. Thus, we may owe to Saint Ambrose, a great man himself, the conversion of one of the greatest fathers of the Church.

Saint Ambrose’s body was preserved and can still be viewed at the Basilica of Sant’Ambrogio in Milan.  My husband and I saw it there in 2009, when I was doing my research for The Saint’s Mistress – along with the remains of Gervasius and Protasius, of whose authenticity Augustine is initially skeptical in my book.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Be the Change #9 – How to change minds

zzbethechange“I don’t want to talk about politics any more.”  I wish I had a dollar for each time I’ve heard that phrase since November 8.  I don’t blame anyone who’s sick and tired of how ugly the 2016 campaign was.  I’m not tired of politics, but I’m bewildered.  I don’t understand how so many people I know, like and respect could have voted for Trump, and I don’t know what to say to them – so I say nothing.

But, that’s exactly what would-be dictators want.  They WANT silence.  They want us to be sick and tired of the ugliness.  They don’t want us to talk about what they’re doing.  They less we talk about it, the more they can get away with.  They need our despair and our silence.

So we need to talk to each other, even if we’re hearing things we don’t like and passionately disagree with.  But, according to the Scientific American article linked below, it’s more important to listen than to talk.  You are unlikely to convince anyone to change their mind by pointing out to them where they’re wrong.  You have a better chance at convincing them by listening to their thoughts and asking questions that might get them thinking.

Try this and let me know how it works out for you: https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/how-to-convince-someone-when-facts-fail/

 

Be the Change #8 – Remember the Elderly

Nursing home

Nursing home

This is another easy one.

Almost all of us have an elder in our lives.  If your parents and grandparents are no longer living, you have great-aunts and uncles, or elderly neighbors.  Many elders are widowed and may be lonely.

This week, spend some time with an elder.  If you still have one or more of your parents or grandparents, make a date to take them out to lunch, or to a movie or another event they might enjoy.  As a parent of grown children myself, I absolutely guarantee that you will make their day.  If your parents or grandparents don’t live near you, then call them, or send them a surprise.  It can be something small, like a book or video that you think they would enjoy.

If your parents and grandparents are no longer living, do a small kindness for an older relative or an elderly person in your neighborhood.  Pick up their newspaper from their driveway and put it on their front porch.  Better yet, knock on the door and hand it to them with a smile and a few words of conversation.  Take your elderly neighbor a jar of homemade soup of a plate of fresh-baked cookies if you’re cooking this week.

I’m blessed to still have my mother in my life.  My plan is to take her out to lunch this weekend.  What’s your plan to brighten up an elder’s day?

A Mother’s Victory

monica-iconLately, I find myself as fascinated by Saint Monica as by her famous son.  I’m planning on doing some more reading and research on her, and posting more about her in the near future.  But, meanwhile, here are the basics of what is know of her biography.

Almost everything that we know about Saint Monica comes from Saint Augustine’s description of his mother in his Confessions.  He says she was “in her 56th year” when she died in 387, and her birth date is variously reported as 331, 332 and 333. She was somewhere between age 20 and 22 when she married Augustine’s father Patricius – a curiously late marriage in an era when  girls were betrothed as early as age 7 and married at an average age of 16.

Monica was a devout Christian at the time of her marriage.  By Augustine’s account, her Christian faith was influenced as much by an elderly family servant as by her parents.  Patricius was a pagan, a philanderer, and a man easily aroused to rage.  His mother, who lived with the couple until her death, was a gossip who shared her son’s hot temper.  In Augustine’s telling, Monica bore her husband’s and her mother-in-law’s wrath so patiently that she earned their respect.  Her mother-in-law eventually became her defender against the servants’ and neighbors’ gossip (it would be interesting to know what they were gossiping about, but on that her son is silent).  And, her husband never beat her, which was apparently an unusual situation in the 4th century.

Monica’s two younger children, Navigus and Perpetua, never gave her a moment’s trouble that we hear about. Aurelius Augustine was another matter.  Monica wanted him for the Church, but he continually disappointed her by choosing rowdy boys as companions, turning to Manicheism rather than Christianity and, of course, by taking a lower-class mistress in Carthage.  When her heart was breaking over Augustine’s Manicheism, Monica had a dream in which a beautiful young man assured her, “Where you are, he will be.”  Like many early Christians, Monica believed that dreams foretold the future and was reassured.

There are intriguing signs that her family background may have been Donatist.  The Donatists were a Christian sect, later vigorously resisted by Augustine, who revered the martyrs of the Diocletan persecution and refused to reconcile with anyone who had compromised during the persecution.  They fasted on Saturday nights and took food to the graves of the revered dead.  Both are habits that that Augustine describes Monica as practicing. When Monica followed her son to Milan in 385, she befriended the Bishop of Milan, the future Saint Ambrose, and expressed to him her puzzlement about differences between North African and Italian religious practices.  This was the occasion of the famous quote by Saint Ambrose that is often abbreviated to “When in Rome, do as the Romans do.”

Monica is revered by Christians for having “prayed” her son into the Church.  When she followed him to Milan, he had already rejected Manicheism and was a neo-Platonist professor of rhetoric who often read the Christian Bible. Augustine’s friendship with Ambrose, facilitated by Monica, is often credited as final step in bringing him to the Church.

Augustine and Monica spent two more years in Milan, along with Augustine’s son Adeodonatus, and some friends.     In the fall of 387, they traveled to Ostia, to find passage back to North Africa.  There, Monica caught a fever and died on November 13, 387, her son’s 33rd birthday.  Shortly before her illness, she and Augustine discussed the afterlife and he quotes her as saying, “One thing there was for which I desired to linger for a while in this life, that I might see thee a Catholic Christian before I died.”  This faithful, patient mother saw her wish granted more abundantly than she could have imagined.  Her wayward son became a Father of the Church and devoted the second half of Book IX of his Confessions to describing her virtue, her death and his grief.

What my own book taught me

early-christian-imageWhen The Saint’s Mistress was first published, a fellow author predicted that my readers would teach me surprising things about my book and about myself.

I found that to be true last month when I participated in an author panel at Shaler Library here in Pittsburgh, and the moderator, Bill Rock, asked me what I learned about myself in the process of writing my book.

One of the hardest sections of the book to write was the chapter where my main character, Leona, converts to Christianity.  Like many 4th-century North Africans, Leona was essentially a pagan.  Her father worshiped the old Berber gods.  Her lover, the future Saint Augustine, was first a Manichean and then a neo-Platonist.  Although Christianity was beginning to consolidate its dominance in the Mediterranean in the 4th century, the area was still a swirl of competing faiths.

It would have been easy to write Leona’s conversion as revelation.  But I was writing historical fiction, not a Christian polemic.   Revelation works in theology, but fiction requires motivation.  I wanted Leona’s acceptance of Christ to ring true for her as a character.

You can believe the Christian story (as I do), and still understand that people accepted the faith for lots of different reasons.  For some, like my character Quintus, the Church was a career, a path to power.  In The Rise of Christianity, Rodney Stark emphasizes social factors.  As more of your neighbors and friends became Christians, it became more familiar and appealing. Moreover, Stark argues, Christians took care of each other.

I had written Leona as a young woman with a strong sense of social justice and a heart for the poor of the Empire, so oppress and exploited by their Roman masters.  Although raised to the middle class by her relationship with Aurelius Augustinus, she began her life in the peasant class and never lost her sympathy for them.

Leona was attracted to the Church by her relationship with other Christians, in the Stark model.  She was impressed by how Christians cared for the poor and the sick.  A Christian priest provided medical care to her son when most doctors were abandoning plague-infested Milan.  But what, I wondered, would finally open her hear to Christ?  I pondered that for weeks before I finally came to an answer that felt true to me:  Christ was a peasant himself.  That, I felt, would be the key to Leona’s heart.

And so, years later, when Bill asked me what I learned about myself from writing my book, I knew what to say.  In writing about what Christ meant to Leona, I learned what is the heart of my own faith.  It is the notion that our God took the form not just of a man, but of a man of the lower class, that he welcomed the children, the poor, the sick, the sinners, the criminals, the most despised.  When I knew what would be most important to Leona, I discovered what my faith most deeply means to me.

Be The Change #7 – Read These Books

If you are angry about the results of the recent election, here’s a link to a list of books that will galvanize you to to action http://lithub.com/50-necessary-books-for-your-anger-and-your-action/.

If you’re a Trump supporter who is really pumped about the election results, I still recommend this reading list, to help you understand where some of us are coming from.  We’re Americans, too.  We care about the direction of the country, too.  And we are in the majority.  You should be interested in what we’re thinking.

If you would rather have solace at this time, I promise to publish a more comforting reading list in the near future.

But by all means, read.  In the current environment, where we have a president-elect who admits –  with no sense of shame at all –  that he doesn’t have the attention span to read, and where fake news is pervasive, reading itself is a revolutionary act.

Here are some other books that I recommend…

When She Woke – a dystopian near future novel, basically a re-telling of The Scarlet Letter by way of The Handmaid’s Tale, with a little Uncle Tom’s Cabin thrown in.

Bonhoeffer – a very well-written recent biography of Dietrich Bonhoeffer, a Christian pastor who resisted the Nazis

American Rust – a heart-breaking novel of white working class despair in Western Pennsylvania

1000 Splendid Suns and The Kite Runner – These novels, taking place in modern-day Afghanistan, beautifully and heart-breakingly portray the suffering of people in the war-torn Middle East, and remind us that they are like us in their feelings, longings and aspirations.

Pillars of the Earth – One of my favorite books ever.  This initially might seem an odd choice for this topic, but there is a strong theme of resistance to corrupt power in this novel, over a very long period of time.